Speaking Moistly

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for is finally here. The Canadian Prime Minister has recently started a career in music and I've taken the time to review his two latest hits for you. This amazing story all started about two months ago when PM Trudeau dropped a now-legendary line at a press conference:  ... if people want to wear a mask, uh, that is okay... it prevents you from breathing or speaking, uh, moistly on them. Oh, what a terrible image. This quote was just so good that I had to use it to name this blog. The phrase quickly became viral as people took to the internet to poke fun at Justin Trudeau's odd choice of words, but he ended up having the last laugh as it turns out he was just giving a preview of his new song, "Speaking Moistly," which dropped hours later. Now if you thought PMJT was going to be a one-hit-wonder, you thought wrong. He featured in " Bunch of Yahoos " by Doug Ford about a month after his first release ...

Guess what? This blog now has an Instagram account! Scroll down to enjoy some of the latest social media posts and make sure to follow  @speakingmoistlyblog  for exclusive content! View this post on Instagram These big players in the satire game have really set the bar high. Will this blog ever get close to their level? #speakingmoistly #blog #blogger #bloggersofinstagram #blogpost #satire #new #cnn #cbc #ilooklikebarackobama #thenewyorktimes #nytimes #funny #best A post shared by Speaking Moistly (@speakingmoistlyblog) on Jun 4, 2020 at 10:38am PDT These entertaining satire sites are simply amazing considering the amount of content they consistently produce and the exceptional quality of all of it. They are truly the inspiration and aspiration for this blog. It would be a dream to make it anywhere close to their level of greatness. View this post on Instagram ...

Courtesy of the Inn at Little Washington via Wine Spectator WASHINGTON, VA, USA |  The Inn at Little Washington , the only restaurant close to the US capital that has three Michelin stars, is finally reopening after irrelevant (I mean "nonessential") businesses were shut down due to the global pandemic. Unfortunately for humans, due to restrictions, diners can only sit outside and the restaurant can only be half-full, so they plan on opening to the public later this month. Meanwhile, before human diners are allowed to visit the lavish and economically unreasonable restaurant (the base price for a " tasting menu " is $315 US per person), Chef Patrick O'Connell has devised a clever idea. Realizing that the current COVID-19 regulations do not limit the number of mannequins that are allowed to be gathered together in one place (say, O'Connell's restaurant), he invited a posse of mannequins to stay at his restaurant for an endless party, at least until restr...

The Canadian PM has quite a reputation for wearing the perfect things for the perfect occasion, and his socks are definitely on that list. To prove that he is the best Prime Minister in the entire history of Canada and the World and Everything, ranked below are the top five pairs of socks that Justin Trudeau has worn in public. Buckle up (or pull up your socks) and prepare for a wild ride. 5. Pink Argyle Socks Shealah Craighead /  Flickr To start off this list, we have an amazing pair of geometrically-patterned dress socks in various eye-catching shades of pink and purple that Trudeau wore to the 2019 G7 summit in France. These attention-drawing socks featured in  photos  with esteemed world leaders such as US President Donald Trump and German Chancellor Angela Merkel. You can even acquire an identical pair of your very own  Dress Purple Socks from Rebel Fashion . 4. Moose (or is it Meese?) Socks Christinne Muschi / REUTERS via  Daily Mail Trudeau has often worn...

Anita Schecter /  The Spruce Pineapple. Ham. Pizza. Hawaiian pizza is the subject of one of the most heated debates of all time. Is it a legitimate type of pizza? Does pineapple belong on pizza? Should ham be on pizza? These questions ignite furious arguments between people having strong opinions of this delicious dish. There you have it: Hawaiian pizza is a genuine, delicious type of pizza. Here's why, supported by facts, logic, and stuff. Facts A recent study found that 7/5 people who say that they like Hawaiian pizza actually like Hawaiian pizza. This speaks for itself. If 140% of the population actually likes Hawaiian pizza, I'd say it would be pretty hard for the dish to be considered a crime (unless, of course, you live in Iceland, in which case the President would ban the dish if he was allowed to). the little potato / Speaking Moistly Logic Don't deny it, there are many tasty fruit and meat pairings, from turkey with cranberry sauce and duck à l'orange to swee...

Welcome to  Speaking Moistly , the one and only reliable source for real, trustworthy satire . Hop on for the ride of a lifetime if you feel inclined, and why wouldn't you? Of course, you may need to find a hill to lay back on, but eventually, you won't need to feel  inclined because you'll be inclined, and nothing will stop you from pursuing your dreams (and subscribing to this blog). What are you waiting for? Go find a hill! the little potato / Speaking Moistly